Four years ago I lost the woman who I thought was only second to my mom.
Last year, at this time, I was still pregnant and didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl.
Did you know my beautiful daughter is named after her?
Well her and one other person.
My best friend growing up was/is Emmylou.
So when we named our daughter Emmalee, we altered the spelling to pay homage to her and her middle name is Meredith, after this woman, my second mom.
I know she would LOVE that Emmalee was named after her, and I'm pretty sure she'd make a big deal of it. She would love that she meant that much to me.
I know she was there when Emmalee was born, it's the only thing that could describe my amazing labor.
She's in charge of the crazy storms we get, watch out... if she has anything to do with it, there will be a blizzard today.
She sends us signs constantly. Purple butterflies and dimes in random places.
--- Sidenote: Dave haaaates working where he does because it is honestly below him, but he does it until he can get something else because the job market is terrible... would you believe every night he finds a dime while working!?---
I know she's here, she always is.
I just ask, if you're a praying person, that today you say a prayer for her family and my mom.
It's been four years, but the pain still feels like yesterday.
I'm exhausted and have about 5 more minutes before I'm going to pass out so here's a quick catch up...
1. We are on our second night of no sleep.
After bringing Emma to the doctor this morning we found out our poor baby is suffering from teething, a head cold, an ear infection and rug burn on her nose from falling while trying to stand on her own.
Thankfully she is on Amoxicillan now so we should hopefully see an improvement.
2. I'm actively job searching.
I'm being selfish and saying I am so unhappy that I need to take care of my happiness first. Hopefully there will be a couple of changes, can't say for now!, and things can get realigned.
3. We are getting a faaaabulous tax return.
I can't wait. It will be a 100% catch up. Plus we'll have left over to pad our savings account until we can find better paying jobs.
4. I filled out my FAFSA tonight.
I am literally 2 classes and a practicum (or equivalent) away from walking for a Masters degree.
Considering our current incomes and debts, I see no reason why I shouldn't get a good amount of funding.
5. I am currently obsessed with the Hunger Games trailers. Someone needs to be my date.
Clearly, the commercial just acme on and I stopped long enough to watch it.
6. I have the next two days off and other than dinner plans with friends, I'm not doin' shit.
I literally make up excuses to not read it, not that I don't have 12,000 other things to do but with a book I don't love... it's all over.
I can't give up a on book.
I don't know why.
But when I start feel committed to it, like I'm hoping it will surprise me and blow me away in the end.
And like always, it didnt.
It literally took me two weeks to read.
And where I was averaging two or three a week, that's saying something.
The worst part is, I saw the movie as well and don't even remember the ending.
It left no imprint on me whatsoever.
I followed the advice of some favorite followers and gave Sophie Kinsella another shot.
I must say, I adored this book.
Little bit of a mystery but super light hearted.
I felt dirty reading this book. Haha.
David asked me one night what it was about and my response was:
"There's a girl whose parents are rich so in an attempt to break away from them she starts a prostitution ring, her boyfriend is addicted to blow, her friend is pregnant by the senator and her other friend is obsessively stalking her ex while they investigate who shot the first girls mother in the face"
But honestly, a good book.
Another whodunnit but this one kind of sucks because at the end of the book when you find out who it was you're like "Wtf?", and not in a good way.
But I'd like to think I'm back on track now... Hopefully I'll breeze through a few more and make up some lost ground!
And it's usually for a special occasion. Most often a wedding.
There's a couple reasons for this..
a. I can't justify paying someone $15 to paint my nails. I'm pretty good left handed so the only thing I'm missing out on is the to die for hand massage.
b. I work in a restaurant. Aka. Can't wear nail polish on shift. So what's the point of paying $15 just to have to take it off a day or two later?
I do, however, paint my toes constantly.
You just don't get to see them.
When I wasn't working at the restaurant, or I was in high school, whatever, I painted my nails for everything. halloween colors, flowers on the tips, random color tips.. whatever so even though I can't really paint my nails now, I still wanted to link up on Tara's Nail Files!
I have found some amazing nails on Pinterest so I'm just going to show off some of my favorites since I can't show you my own naked nails.
I seriously can't wait until I have a job where I can paint my nails! :)
The idea for Caring Crowns was inspired by our daughter Addison.
The “peanut” with “huge” heart. My father-in-law, her PAPA Papa was diagnosed with leukemia in January of 2010. It has been a long hard road for all family members involved since then. Addison was a typical five year old that asked a million questions a day. So many in fact that I just couldn't keep track of them all. But after Christmas had gone by and she didn't see her Papa on that special occasion because he couldn't be around the kids and their germs, she started with her 20 questions -Except this particular day was themed- PAPA. “Where was Papa on Christmas” “Did he open presents?” “What was his favorite?” “Why is Papa sick?” “When will he be better?” “Can I call Papa?” “ What can I do to help Papa?” "Papa, Papa, Papa" One my answers to her 20 questions game was “Papa's sick and we don’t know how or why he got Leukemia, sometimes people get sick, sometimes people get really sick like Papa.” She asked “can kids get what Papa has” and sadly I had to say yes. Later that day she asked the infamous question (I knew it was coming it had been at least a week since she asked) when can I be in another pageant. I thought to myself - Oh here we go again...... Addison and her hunger for the spotlight needed to be fulfilled. After watching her dress up in costumes for an hour or so, she called us in to watch her “performance” keep in mind we attend many of these shows in our house. (LOL) This one was different this one she said was “for Papa” well right then and there at that moment it clicked. She wants to be in a pageant and she wants nothing more than to help her Papa..... Presto.... like magic!! Her wish came true.
CARING CROWNS -
ROYALLY BEATING CANCER WAS STARTED.
We have taking his unfortunate experience and turned it into something very positive. We decided to run a pageant in honor of Papa and all who suffer from Cancer. A yearly event that will raise money and awareness to the community and will be able to a donate to a local hospital and / or family each year in his honor. Starting with what is near and dear to our hearts and who has treated him so kindly! The donations from our 1st pageant in 2011 were presented to The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Chloe Harding Fund. Chloe Harding was the VERY 1st Little Miss Crowns who was diagnosed with
ALL at just 4months Old.
The 1st Caring Crowns pageant
in February 2011 was such a HUGE success! Special thanks to everyone who donated and supported us!
See?? How great is that?
Obviously I want Emmalee to be a part of it!
Not just for the idea of the pageant but for what it represents and means.
We're not well off and the $30 registration fee could be used for things we need but this pageant gives the money to a family that is struggling worse.
Every morning I wake up, Emmalee is healthy.
She doesn't have to go to the hospital for routine chemotherapy.
She doesn't have to take any daily medications.
We all have our health and that's the greatest gift there is.
What's $30 to a family who doesn't have that gift?
It's important to remember:
No matter how bad you think things are, there's always someone whose worse off than you.
Would you be interested in coming to the show? Donating? Or helping to sponsor Emmalee? Let me know!
Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org or Donate directly to Crowns for a Cure!
That's what I see Valentines Day as, just another day with the man I love.
(I know, super mushy)
But in the spirit, here's 3 things I'm loving (in addition to my husband) today!
1. My cherub of a daughter.
2. My Valentine's/early birthday present!
Ok, so originally I was very angry when I saw this because umm... we are financially handicapped right now but then he said the words that made me fall in love with him all over again. "I didn't spend that much on it; I bought it second hand at Saver's but it's never even been used!"
My husband = trained.
3. Our Valentine's cards to each other!
David's card to me:
My card to him:
We're goofy, that's why we are so perfect together.
My little peanut of a princess is 8 months old. It's really crazy.
When you're pregnant or have a new baby, people always say " Time will fly" or "She'll be 18 before you know it" and oh my goodness, they were right.
So here's some 8 month pictures!
She sits on her own, after pushing herself up from being on her belly.
She crawls, everywhere. But only if she wants something. So far the best motivators are a cell phone, the tv remote, an XBOX controller, grown up food, or her yellow sea horse.
She's really starting to play with her toys and will crawl to ones she wants. She's learned if you pull on the basket full of toys they will all come tumbling out.
She still loves tubbies but has decided she does NOT like having her hair washed or when water goes in her eyes.
She's trying to stand already, pulling herself up on the side of the tub or on her car seat. She reaches up to the coffee table but hasn't started lifting herself up yet.
She LOVES food. She prefers grown up food to her own but loves her puffs, yogurt melts and multigrain cheerios! No teeth yet but that hasn't stopped her from eating actual green beans, bread, chicken, potatoes and ice cream!
She isn't saying any words but has started putting consonant sounds together. Usually its "mmmmmt" or "patek" I have no idea what she's saying but if you say it back at her, she giggles like crazy.
She falls asleep on her own and goes to bed in her crib. Because she is still breastfed (!!!) when she wakes up to eat she usually ends up in our bed because I fall asleep and don't put her back in her crib (oops!)
And speaking of bed, we only use the binky for bed time now! :)
And did I mention she LOVES shoes!
She will crawl to her room and pull out the shoe bucket and proceed to take out every pair! Plus she tried to get a bow every time I change her diaper...
Did I create a girly girl??? :)
She's getting bigger everyday and is so smart.
And in other news,
I participated in a Valentine's Day swap!
Here's what I got!
A photo album, slap bracelets (!!!) and love cuffs. haha.
Plus a bunch of Hershey kisses that were gone within minutes of opening the package!
My package was from Megan at Greetings From Texas!
She is super adorable and I love her posts!
You should go follow her too!
I hate when a celebrity, or anyone for that matter, passes because all of a sudden there are 18,000 die hard fans and Facebook is clogged with messages to your "favorite star" who you've never once discussed before.
Does that make me mean?
I am saddened that a person lost a life but I'm not going to pretend like I worshiped someone just so I can put up a Facebook status about it.